Be Kind to Yourself

Treat yourself as you would treat others. Unless you are mean to other people. Then just be nice to yourself and others. But, most of us are kind to one another.

Yet, it amazes me how we talk to ourselves. You know, the quiet talk that no one can hear. The voice that tells us we suck or we will fail at something we haven’t yet tried. YET, most of us work hard. Maybe we are working hard on school or career, or raising children (including furry ones), or setting goals for a physical challenge like running a 5k or full marathon. Maybe we workout and train to be prepared for life. My point is, we put forth effort, and a lot of it.

So why do we fill our minds with self doubt. Why when the going gets tough or scary do we repeat negative messages in our head? “I’m too slow”, “I can’t do that”, “I don’t know how”, “what if…”, “I’m too fat”, “that’s not for someone like me”. One word. Fear.

It is natural to have fear. It is a part of our natural fight or flight response. It provides our bodies with adrenaline and allows us to do the unimaginable. But fear can also paralyze us. Luckily, there are some simple ways we can overcome the negativity and allow us to tackle those challenges.

1. Become aware of the messages you tell yourself. Are they negative? Do they encourage self doubt? Would you tell your friend the message you are telling yourself?
2. Change the message. Once you become aware of the negative message, change it. You do not have to believe. You just have to repeat it. Your brain will eventually believe what you tell it. Good or bad, so might as well make those messages positive.
3. Write. (Or type it up in a journal on your phone.) Start a list and write something you admire about yourself every night for a month. If you run out of things you admire, ask someone you trust. Take note on how you feel. If you accidentally skip a night, make it up the following day by writing two qualities.

When you look for positive, you will start to see more positive. When your self talk is positive, you will start to believe THOSE messages you are telling yourself. “I can do it”, “I will keep moving”, “I got this”, “I am strong”, “I am kind”, “I can learn how to do that…”, “I will help you…”. As I said in the beginning, treat yourself as you would treat others. YOU deserve kindness too.

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